you thought that things will be better time after time. that it'll be easier after each time. easier to give up. but everytime as single trace of hope appears, you cling on to it so hard that you crushed it using your own hands. then you create false hope. then you believed so hard in it. what if that hope shatters? what if it slips away from you? what if you have nothing left to hold on to?

what happens then?